Monthly Archives: August 2011

August 13th, Dave and Jig’s wedding!


Dave and Jig’s wedding


Whew… this is going to be a big one… The post covers Aug 10 through Aug 15, the event of the century, the amazing… Wedding of Jignasha Patel and David Siegfried!



Wednesday –


So I had broken up with Allison two days earlier, and thus my original ride to the airport was gone. Thankfully, Maureen came through for me again and she took me to the airport around 10:00 after we had a quick breakfast. Security and the plane rides were pretty simple and clean, the only things of note was the complete lack of any hot girls sitting near me, and the fact that I nearly missed my connecting flight. Seriously… not like a “ohh, I got there as they were getting ready to board”. No, as in “I got there as they were giving my seat away. Yeah. That close.


But I dd get to OK, and was met at the airport by Dave and his sisters Jenn and Mellisa. After the usual bro-hugs, normal hugs, and quick catching up we jumped into Dave’s car and headed towards the hotel, where I checked in and we met up with all the other folks who were already at the hotel. We hung out for a little bit, and then headed over to the Patel house for some chilling, and the chance to see Jig getting her Mendi, the fancy henna tattoo that the bride gets. And when I say fancy… lets just say it took them seven hours of sitting to get it done. Seriously. From 1400 through till 2100, Jig was sitting bored in the livingroom watching TV. Unable to touch anything (Mendi on the hands) either, so we helped out by scratching her nose and giving her some snacks 🙂



Thursday –


The name of the game today was picking people up from the airport in the Van that Jig’s uncle had rented for me. First up was food though; I missed the actual breakfast by a few minutes, but thanks to Danny I was still able to eat since he had made a plate up for me ahead of time. We all hung out in the breakfast room for a bit, chatting and relaxing before getting ready to head out to a lunch-event at noon. See, while the rest of us were relaxing, Jig was doing a fairly complex “bridal-shower” type ceremony with her female relatives, and was finally going to be set free around noon for a luncheon at the event-hall.


We got to the hall a little late (1220) but that was nothing compared to the lateness of everyone else… Dave had warned us about the phenomena known as “Indian Standard Time”, but I didn’t really believe him until now. Jig and her relatives finally arrived around 1400, much to our chagrin. See, them arriving late wasn’t a problem, we were hanging out and chatting the whole time, which was pretty fun. The problem was that, right before they got there, we were asked to get up and move. I guess we were sitting where they were going to be sitting, and thats ok for us to move. But where were we moved to? The far corner of the hall. Yep… they put all the white people in the corner where they wouldn’t have to see us. Hehe. Good times…


The lunch was really fun after Jig arrived, but I had to head out a bit early to start my airport runs. See, since I was entrusted with the keys to the van I got to do the airport runs, picking everyone up when they got in. It was actually a really nice job, since it meant that I got to sneak out of the extra-long events, and I got to chill out in the van with random people. On Thursday I had three airport runs, spaced about 2-3 hours apart.


The airport runs went pretty smoothly, and before I knew it I was making the last run of the day to pick up Daniel and Mike. I took T along with me for this run, and we all headed out to hit Sonic (for meat, the wedding was Vegitarian), Wal-Mart (random supplies / condoms), and the Liquor store (Booze = needed, since it was a dry wedding). After we finished our runs we headed back to the hotel for a bit of old-school-style room partying.


And a party it was… though a rather strange one. We all chatted and hung out and drank Gin and Tonics for a bit, before someone (cough dave cough) decided it’d be fun to start a bottle-cap war. Yeah, we had a battle of “who can throw a bottle-cap at someone else the hardest” that turned my room into a war-torn battlefield, littered with the fallen (people who were laughing so hard they couldn’t move) and the detritus of war (bottle-caps, and anything else we could throw). Dave and I had ended up getting pinned down behind an overturned chair (that I had knocked over trying to take Dave out earlier) and the bed, when I got the ultimate shot of the night – I spun an old six-pack holder like a frisbee, hitting first T, then Erin, then Maureen, and lastly Jeremy. Yeah, four hits for one throw. I’m that awesome 🙂


Friday –


Hangover. Hangover not good. Aspirin… I need aspirin. Since I couldn’t find any, I settled for a good breakfast and a ton of coffee and orange juice. I found Danny and some of Dave’s family already downstairs when I stumbled into the breakfast room, and thanks to their conversation and the breakfast I was feeling ready to face my first airport run. I met Cosimo at the baggage terminal where we finally got to shoot the shit again; he had been Dave’s roommate during Dave’s last semester, and the three of us had rocked out a ton that semester, but I hadn’t seen him recently, since he had gone back to visit his family in Italy. After we grabbed his bags we headed back to the hotel to hang out with everyone until the next ceremony started.


See, the ceremony was supposed to start at 1400, so we all arrived at 1420 to account for the IST (Indian Standard Time). Nope, not nearly enough time… we just hung out and chilled for almost two hours before the priest was finally ready to start into the ceremony. See, in traditional India the bride would move in with the grooms family after the wedding ceremony, never to be seen again by her family (aside from rare visits), so they’d all have a “Wah! You’re leaving and we’ll miss you! Here, have this!” ceremony where the priest asks for the blessings of the gods (Hindu), and the relatives all present the bride with gifts to show their love. At least, thats what I think happened. See… the priest only spoke in Sanskrit, and… I don’t speak that. Neither did anyone else though, so far all we know the priest was just mocking us for being Americans.


That was to be the theme of the wedding though; In European-style weddings everyone wears boring clothes and the ceremony is short (comparitively) and simple. Boring, but everyone understands it. In Indian weddinds everyone wears bright and fun colors, intricate outfits, and the ceremony is long and involved over multiple days. Exciting, but no one knows what the hell is going on. Upside to the cool outfits though… Sari’s are all exposed midriffs, so the girls our age were looking HOT! Downside to Sari’s though… grandma wears them. And grandma’s midriff “flops over” more than a little bit. Ick.


After the ceremony we all headed back to the dinner hall to chow down on some awesome dinner. Vegitarian, spicy, and SPICY! Did I mention that it was spicy? See… I think their making up for not having meat with the theory of “if you can’t feel your mouth, you can’t complain”. I actually enjoyed the food, even though I couldn’t feel my mouth, although a few of our friends made their dislike for the fare rather well known and we did hit up Sonic afterwards, before heading over to the evenings entertainment; Dave & Busters.


Rimal had put forward the idea for all the cousins and friends to bring Jig and Dave out after the ceremony, and we all made sure that it happened; winning a metric TON of tickets and laying the epic smack down on the random arcade games. Dave and I played a few shooting games, and Chirag and I tried to beat the epic boss in “House of the Living Dead”. Not possible without throwing down more than a few bucks, FYI… he has some un-blockable attacks that wipe your life down so that you NEED to throw down a few times if you want to beat him. Jerks. The rest of the folks went about winning the CRAP out of the tickets, and Mellisa (Dave’s sister) actually hit the 1000-ticket jackpot on one of the “wheel of fortune” games… nicely done for her. Many drinks and adventures later we loaded the van and cars up and headed back to the hotel, having a few quick drinks in my room again before everyone split to sleep in for the wedding tomorrow.



Saturday –


Zero hour. D-Day. The point of no return and the event horizon. Whatever you call it, Saturday was the wedding, the gears were moving, and people were already running late. We were supposed to be at the event hall right around 1300 or 1330, but an unfortunate delay in the Sari woman (the lady who helped all the women get into their Saris) meant that we didn’t leave the hotel until nearly 1420, and that the ceremony didn’t start up until nearly 1445. Meh. Indian weddings, running on IST. It happens. And it just helped to add to the main tradition of the wedding (or so it seemed), making sure everyone was confused, and no one knew what was going on.


I got to play taskmaster to my whole group of people (AKA the van), and ended up being the one to try and organize the procession of Dave’s family/friends into the ceremony hall. Needless to say it worked out, but not as smoothly as planned. We did get everyone into their positions, but then had to double-time it down the aisle. See… the priest had a flight to catch, literally 45min after the ceremony was supposed to end. That meant that he moved through the ceremony like a boss, pushing stuff through and going completely out of the order that we had been told about, so we were doubly lost, though not as bad as the day before thanks to a handy read-along scroll that we were given.


For the most part us non-family members just sat back and watched the show, though a few of us did have a major role to play; guardians of the shoes. See… Chirag had told us that the cousins would be trying to steal Dave’s shoes from him, and if said cousins got the shoes then Dave’d have to bribe them in order to get the shoes back. Dave’s broke. Thus; PROTECT THE SHOES! And protect them we did… through numerous assaults from the cousins, Chirag trying to be sneaky (we actually did a pre-emptive assault on Chirag, stealing his shoes just in case :P), and tall cousins trying to overwhelm us. In the end, David was the only one with David’s shoes, so our mission was complete.


In a matter of speaking… See, what Chirag had forgotten to mention was that this was a rather major tradition, and a key part of the wedding. The ceremony literally could not be completely correctly if Jig’s family didn’t get Dave’s shoes. The point of it was that, as long as he didn’t have his shoes, Dave couldn’t leave the wedding hall, and thus Jig would stay with her family instead of leaving with him. So by stealing his shoes, Jig’s family is saying to Dave, “yes, you can marry her. But we won’t let her go without a fight. Prove you love her by bribing us to let you leave”. So… yeah. We messed that up I guess, but I have no regrets; Jig’s cousin Sonal was able to complete the tradition by blocking the car door, and making Dave bribe her out of the way 🙂


Also what goes without saying; everyone looked freaking AMAZING. I mean… seriously holy hell. Dave was wearing a full traditional Sherwani, with both the fancy shoes and the amazing hat, and Jig’s Sari was nearly completely covered in gold and silver jewelry. I mean… I feel bad, I’m sure her arms and ears hurt like hell during the ceremony, thanks to the extra weight of it all. Baselining it here; they looked unbelievable. And much cooler than your standard-issue American stuff 😛


Aside from the ceremony and the outfits, the third leg to this wedding-table was the food. The night before Jig’s older brother had promised us that we’d have some kinda American food, instead of the just the redicuosly spicy Indian stuff. See, I didn’t really mind it, but I could only eat so much at a sitting. And some of the folks with us couldn’t really eat it at all, so we were usually hitting a fast-food place after each of the events. So we were promised Lasagnia to make up for the lack of “normal” food the day before. I should’ve guessed it was a troll though, from the stories of Rimal that I had heard… but I believed it, only to be tricked again. No lasagna. To be honest it was probably just a deal of not having enough time, but still… no lasagna. So we were Sonic-bound as soon as we left the event-hall, chowing down on our food and bringing some back for the folks who weren’t there at the time.


After chilling at the hotel for a bit (key story here: Dave and Jig were “missing” for about 2 hours, after which Dave showed up where we were drinking wearing a “Just do it” shirt. Yeah… stay classy Dave) we got the call that everyone was heading out to do some partying in celebration of a certain wedding that had just taken place. It was actually a fairly tame amount of partying, so I’ll just give a quick overview here:

  • Joe Mama’s pizza – Our first stop, with amazing pizza, a fairly good coverband, and lots of Arcade games. Of note: Big T cheats at Marvel vs. Capcom. Not sure how, but he totally does. Also of note: if T and Danny say that a Pizza isn’t spicy, that doesn’t mean its not a death pizza. It just means that they have no ability to taste food.
  • Hard Rock Casino – Kinda boring, to be honest… I’ve never been into the whole gambling scene, and now wasn’t a good time for me to start, since I’m trying to save cash for this whole “World Trip” I’m planning on.
  • While I’m not into gambling, the others definitely are. Everyone went in with $100 each, but theymo all did really well! Erin came out with $40, Mike with $50, Jeremy with $100, and Big T took the pot with a full $150! Not bad, especially from low-entry Blackjack and Poker.
  • Sleep is awesome, especially when you get to it after 0300,



Sunday –


My biggest fear about today was dropping Cosimo off at the airport. See… the dropping off part was simple and easy. The “his flight leaves at 0630” part was what sucked, and it sucked a ton! Luckily for both of us, Cosimo had found a way to move his flight a full 12 hours, from 0630 to 1830. Nice indeed. So that meant my first airport run of the day was at 11:30, and so after dropping Mike and Daniel off at the airport I finished up with the van, dropped it off at the rental place, and we all went out to BBQ to celebrate Dave and Jig’s first day of marriage.


The first BBQ joint we went to was closed (literally closed 2min before we got there), so we hauled ourselves over to the next place on our list; called the “Rib Crib”. And this place was good. I mean… holy hell good. I had the BBQ club sandwich, which was a stack of bread, BBQ chicken, cheddar, lettuce, bread, Pulled Pork, Jalapeno cheddar, bacon, bread. Yeah… seriously. Holy hell. Cosimo got it too, and both of us were in 7th heaven the entire time. Too soon though we had to drive to the airport to drop him off for his flight, after which we Indian-Circled for a bit, and then headed back to the hotel for some quality R&R time before heading out to whatever we were going to do that night.


Chirag, T, Maureen and I headed out to an Archery Range for a big first, but unfortunately it wasn’t nearly as awesome as it sounds… Bass Pro shop billed it as an actual range, where in truth it was just a place to take a shot or two in order to test a bow before buying it. Damn. The next step of the night was much better though… turns out today was Kayana’s birthday, so to celebrate we hit Chili’s, then headed over to the theater to watch “Crazy stupid love”, that new movie with Steve Carrell and Emma Stone. Yeah… she’s quite possibly the hottest human in my mind, as of now. I mean… damn. The movie was kinda meh, a lot of the usual Steve Carrell awkward-situation humor, but I liked it overall. And that was our evening, nice and simple and relaxing. Partially thanks to me having knocked back three Margarita’s at Chili’s. Yay!



Monday –


A simple day – packing, leaving, sitting on planes. My only complaint? Cosimo gets to sit next to hot models on his flights… I get fat (seriously, his leg was oozing under and over the divider). Whats up with that? Can I pay extra and have them put me next to sluts instead? Meh.


August 6th, Hungry Tiger fest, parties, and summaries!


Friday –


Since I’ve finished up with work so I can plan and pack for my trip, Friday was really just like any other day until Allison got in from her house. It’s been nice actually, being able to just stay in all day, work out, relax, and get stuff ready for this trip of mine. The current workout that I’m rolling with has been:


A 12-set Tabata protocol: 20s of high-intensity workout, followed by a 10s rest, repeated 12 times. Usually goes 2x jumping jacks, 2x running, 2x boxing, repeat

100 pushups for time

30 pullups for time

250 situps for time

Another 12-set Tabata.


Pretty tough for me, and I’m going to keep boosting the numbers as I get better, so I keep being unable to feel my arms afterwards 😛


Anyways, aside from getting to work out all day, turns out that today was my buddy Daniels birthday party! 


  • No work, yay!
  • Relax and work out all day
  • Pick up Allison from the station – train = late = so what? I have a KINDLE!
  • Daniels birthday – went to a place called “Soul Fire”, an amazing BBQ pit. Most entertaining part of the night? Stef came along. The Vegan. Came along to the BBQ pit. All of us had plates heaped high with meat, and she had a small dish with a bowl of rice in the center. She spent the whole night staring sadly at Daniel as he chowed down.
  • Big City for some Pool and Foosball.
  • Home and relax



Saturday –


Allison and I woke up around mid-day, slowly ridding ourselves of the grogginess that comes from sleeping in a bit too much. Since we had some leftovers from dinner the night before, and I didn’t really want to eat out, I made a quick trip to the grocery store to get breakfast foods. When I got back Allison was fully mobile, so we started cooking up a breakfast of scrambled eggs with shaved ribs in them… sounds a bit strange I know, but its really quality. Just shave some BBQ spare-ribs into scrambled eggs before cooking them, then serve with a bit of BBQ sauce and Parmigiana cheese. Perfection.


After breakfast we hung out for a bit, waiting for Kasia to get in. I got a call that my fancy outfit for next weekends wedding was done being altered, so once Kasia did arrive we all packed into the car and headed over to pick up my outfit. And what an outfit… seriously, this thing looks amazing; its an emerald green Kurta with gold, silver, and turquoise embroidery work through it, studded with red glass rhinestones. Yeah. And I was trying it on with two beautiful women… I’m money, and I know it, hehe 😛


After picking up the suit, we headed over to T and Maureen’s place to pick them and Dillon up for a huge street faire in Somerville; the Hungry Tiger Street Faire. I had first heard about the Hungry Tiger Faire on facebook, through a guy that I had met at last weekends burning-man fundraiser, and it looked amazing – fire-spinners, street vendors, and lots of random “ethnic” food. T bailed out at the last minute, which was actually good since I didn’t have enough seats in my car, Dillon arrived, and we all headed over to party it up.


The first order of business once we arrived was to check out the vendors, though it got derailed for a few minutes when I got ambushed by an old friend of mine, Libby. I knew that she had gotten into spinning, but what I didn’t know was that she was one of the movers and shakers in the Medford spinners-league-thing, and had actually put in a lot of the planning work for this whole event. See, fire-spinning is technically illegal in MA, qualifying as “unregistered pyrotechnics” and being subject to a rather hefty fine from what I’ve been told. Well… up ’till now that is, since Libby was somehow able to help get a full fire-permit for this event.


Anyways, after talking to Libby we poked around and checked out the vendors, waiting for the spinners to start up. I bought Allison a cool Asian-style parasol, we all got some Indian food (holy crap good!), and we chilled out and chatted. Allison and Kasia got to ride this wicked cool dragon-thing that one guy had set up… you sat in a saddle on its back, and when you pulled on the reigns it would rear back and roar… wicked cool! The fire-spinners finally got ready to start though, and we all started looking for seats… and my adventurousness backfired on me in a spectacular way.


See… there was really nowhere that I could get pictures as amazing as I could at the last spinning event. But there was a hard-topped bus-stop right nearby, which would give a perfect vantage point for the event. I scampered up pretty quick, followed by Kasia, and made myself comfortable waiting for Allison and the rest to come up. As I was helping Mike though, hell struck: Allison decided that she couldn’t make it up (no, she didn’t try. Yes, she was wearing a long dress and sandals, but… Kasia was wearing a dress and 3” heels. So… it was possible) and started flipping out that Kasia and I were going

to have a romantic time up there without here. What. Seriously… crying, screaming, etc… Allison was an impressive sight to behold, tears streaming, screaming “Ben! Come down! NOW!”. So I jumped down, comforted her for a bit (telling her we’d discuss it later), and we left Kasia and Mike up on the bus stop to go find a viewpoint somewhere that Allison could get to.


We ended up sitting pretty close to the front, right near the barriers that the spinners had erected to make sure everyone was safe. I got some wicked amazing pictures (the trick? Take a ton of pictures!) of the events… my favorite was a group of four guys who did two group-dances; two guys would have Bo-Staffs, two would have Fire-Poi, and they’d all move together in patterns around the stage. The two songs were perfect for the show too; Ride of the Valkyries and the theme to Pirates of the Carribean. Hell yeah.


After the show (around 10:00) we headed out, all aiming to meet back up at T and Maureen’s place for a party that Filipe (their other roommate) had planned out. Maureen was actually already home thanks to food poisoning or a stomach bug (she left the spinning early), and to be honest the party really stuck with the “slow and lethargic” theme that Maureen was feeling. Not too many people showed up, and when they did they were super low-energy. A few of us did some totally rad dancing, I actually worked up a nice sweat, but without anyone else helping to keep the momentum the dance party died out pretty quickly. Allison and I ended up heading home a bit early, getting back to my place around one or so.


Quote of the night: “Some things are best when fermented. Potato Salad is not one of them”



Sunday –


Summary time!


  • Up late again, but this time… IHOP!
  • Sexy store and sexy times with Allison
  • Pick up Kasia from Mike’s place.
  • Relax
  • Allison makes dinner
  • Help my mom pick up some stuff for my sisters new apartment while Allison’s cooking
  • Movie… what? No. Damnit. Why are we watching this epically stupid girly movie? Kasia and I gang up on Allison and change the channel to something a bit more humane.
  • Sleepz


Monday –


This weekend with Allison was just rough, and proved how bad of an idea the whole relationship was. Time to be a man about it. Breakup time, like a Boss. A depressed and “I don’t wanna do this, but know that its for the best” Boss. Damnit.

weekend of July 29th, DAVES BACHELOR PARTY!!!


Friday –


I’m done with work. Not in the “the workday’s over” sort of way, but in the “my two-weeks notice is over, and I won’t be coming back next week” sort of way. Holy hell. So this morning, instead of waking up and going into work, I woke up and headed to the airport to fly to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Why Tulsa? My buddy Dave’s Bachelor party is why; he’s getting married on the 13th of this month, and thus the ancient tradition of rocking out and being manly had to be upheld, starting with a long flight to the middle of nowhere.


The days worth of flights really don’t have anything interesting with them; I flew, I napped, I ate some airport food (5 guys = tasty), I landed, and then I did it all again for the second leg of the flight. Boring. The interesting part started when I met up with Dave, Chirag, and Jeremy; I hadn’t seen any of them in nearly six months, so the reunion lasted a bit longer than is normal for four buddies meeting at the gate of an airport. After said reunion we headed to the hotel, checked Jeremy and myself in, and headed to meet Jig and grab some food – Sushi!


Yes. Sushi. In Oklahoma. Quiet you, it totally makes sense, and it was amazing. We ordered up one of the massive sushi boats for all of us, added some Calamari, Sake, and bacon Sushi (see? We really were in Oklahoma!) and chowed down. I had the fun chance to teach everyone some of the stuff I’d learned about Sake at my last booze-tasting night, and thus Jeremy and I did the most offensive impressions of Japanese men we could… I’m not proud of that moment, but it was definitely hysterical at the time 🙂


After Sushi we headed out to grab some Ice Cream and caught a movie; Cowboys and Aliens. Definitely a good movie, with rather excellent effects and an impressive cast… Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig actually worked pretty well together, though Olivia Wilde’s character was a bit more off than the story really called for… meh. Not complaining, she’s still awesome. But anyways, after the movie we headed back to the hotel to chill, relax, catch up, and finally crash for the night.



Saturday –


“Bachelor Party” does not equal “wake up early”. I like this rule, and we stuck with it for Saturday morning. Once we finally mobilized, Jeremy and I jumped in Dave’s car (he had left it with us over night) and went to meet Dave, Chirag, and Jig at Chirag’s folks place. And wow… what a house they have! Definitely a cool place, with a pretty solid layout: A fancy “showoff to guests” bottom floor, with a nice and cozy second story for the bedrooms. We chilled out for a bit while everyone was getting ready, drinking some amazing Chu Tea (like Chai tea, but 273% more awesome) and eating toast and biscuits (the British cookies kind, not the American sugary kind).


After our quite excellent breakfast we headed down to the shooting range, dealt with all the technicalities, cased up an AR-15 with red-dot sight, and hit the rifle range. The range wasn’t particularly long (60ft maybe?) but we definitely had a blast with it… Jig turned out to be a rather excellent shot once she warmed up to the idea of firing a gun. At first she was very unsure about it, but once Dave took some time to explain everything and promised her that it’d be alright she fired away, sniping chunks out of the target like a pro. Chirag ended up leaving without getting to fire the rifle (to pick Mike up from the airport), but he did try out the pistol that we had moved on to once he got back. The pistol wasn’t nearly as fun for me (I don’t really know why, but I seriously prefer rifles), but everyone else had a ball, so good times were definitely had.


After the range we picked Mike up from the hotel and headed to the next stop on our whirlwind bachelor party tour – Dave and Busters. After a quick lunch (and beers) we headed into the game room (with Beers) to rock out, play a few games, earn some tickets, and generally rock out (with Beers). Note the trend here. Dave and I started out by laying the smack down to some over-confident robots in the Terminator Salvation video game… we’d played before, but that really didn’t help our abilities much… neither did the shooting range earlier in the day. After about $15 worth of tokens we had beaten the robotic overlords and blown up their base, and moved on to the process of earning as many damn tickets as we possibly could. Once each of us had killed off our supply of tokens we headed into the winners circle to pick out a prize for the Bachelor and Bachelorette – After much deliberation we finally settled on picking up Beatles Monopoly… not something that we got to play that night, but hopefully it’ll help to keep them sane during the long and boring Oklahoma days 😛


After Dave and Busters we got together to head to the fancy steakhouse that we had reservations for… Nah. Lets go try out the Go-Karts instead! Seriously, we’re not ADD, we’re just insane (also, we had like 2 hours ’till the reservation). So off we went, to get super excited and… sit in line for nearly an hour just to get a 5min race in. Damnit! It was excellent though, at least for most of us. Jeremy was in the lead with me chasing close behind the whole time, but poor Dave and Jig somehow got the shitty cars – they got lapped at least once, and were somehow stuck in low-gear. Sucks. But anyways. After the race we grabbed some quick food (part of the cost of admission was a full buffet), and then headed out to get a real dinner at the fancy place.


Or… not. I’m still not exactly sure why, but we decided against going fancy and headed to the laid-back Mexican place that we had scheduled for the next night… not a bad thing, just a bit of a confusing thing. The food was amazing, but the service was downright shit. I actually didn’t even get my meal at first, since she forgot what I had ordered, and instead of just asking, she simply pretended I hadn’t ordered anything. Seriously. But once I did get my enchiladas I was quite happy, mostly due to the giant margarita that I had ordered 🙂


Post-dinner we jetted over to a comedy club that Jeremy had found, sat down, and proceeded to laugh our asses off and lay the smack down to some innocent bottles of Red Stripe. Seriously, these guys were amazing, and the fact that they sold Red Stripe by the bucket (5 bottles for the price of 4) combined into one hell of a good night. There were two main comedians with an MC introducing them to us… the MC was ok, but fairly fogettable. The other two guys were excellent though – actually both back from a tour in Vegas. The first main act was pretty solid, though a little bit out of our age range. He made some damn fine jokes about being old, having kids, and generally being crotchety / making funny faces. The second main act was the kick though… this guy was seriously amazing. He was quite possibly the most misogynistic comedian that I’ve heard (that’s saying a lot) but he was amazing about it, and even the ladies in the audience were pounding the tables with laughter. He snarfled (where you spit beer out your nose) at least four times, and used the greatest insult EVER; “What do you want, you Canyon-Crotch??!”. Seriously. “Canyon Crotch”.


After the show we all headed our separate ways… Dave drove us to the hotel, and Jig and Chirag headed back to their place.



Sunday –
No less epic, though slightly less full of activities, Sunday started off with the solemn adherence to the previous mornings rule, “ ‘Bachelor Party’ does not equal ‘wake up early’ ”. I did get up a bit early (read: 10:00) to go swimming for a little bit, but we were definitely not in a hurry to get ourselves moving… the reservation for the day wasn’t until 13:00, so we had plenty of time. Dave met us at the hotel so we could grab some quick food (McDonalds), and then we headed to the adventure: Paintball!


Holy Hell paintball is a great activity / sport. This was the first time I’d played, but it was definitely something I truly enjoyed… the challenge and the excitement was clearly the drug for me… the key was that during the match you don’t notice how tired or sore you are, but the moment the match is over and your sitting down relaxing? BAM! It hits you that your muscles are screaming and your lungs are on fire. A few quick notes from our many matches (we stayed longer than any other group… partially due to baller-ness, partially because we bought too much ammo)

  • First match 3v3– myself and two random guys against the other three. I swept both times.
  • Another group showed up, so the six of us went up against their seven… definitely fun and fairly even, thanks to them having three girls who were scared to get hit. Speaking of…
  • Tit-shot. Yep. Jeremy got one of the girls straight-shot to the nipple. And she wouldn’t stop whining about it, even after her friend one-upped her by getting shot in the crotch.
  • Speaking of boobs… That same girl had an amazing boob-tattoo. Yep. I know, because she decided it’d be a good idea to whip off her shirt to show the bruise that Jeremy gave her. Nice.
  • “Neon boy”… their team had one “pro” guy with all his own gear and special gun. He was a tool. A semi-good player, but a hugely sore loser. His quote “Didn’t Burst!” when he got hit. See… in his mind, if you get hit but the ball doesn’t burst, it doesn’t count. Even if your bleeding, which he was after one of Dave’s hits. Hehe.
  • Mikes gun SUCKED. Mikes second gun SUCKED. Mikes third gun SUCKED. Mikes fourth gun was awesome.
  • This was my favorite part of the party… even when I got sniped in the face by Jeremy.
  • Our last match was against some 12 to 15 year old kids, with their mom on our team. Yeah, seriously. I shot pre-teen girls in the face. It was very cathartic, just imagining that each one was one of those screaming brats in the “anywhere I want peace and quiet”

Yeah, this was a fun activity, and we all had a blast. Even Mike, who’s gun sucked most of the time.


After a quick snack we met up with Jig and Chirag by the hotel pool – Chirag had spent the morning at the Driving Range since paintball is scary, and Jig had spent the morning getting trial makeup done on her… damn the girl looked cool! See, Indian weddings aren’t as stuck up as European ones; the bride is decked out in fancy jewelry, bright colors, and non-standard makeup. As such, her makeup wasn’t intended to make her look more “realistic”, but instead to complement her dress. It looked awesome, is the baseline here. Anyways.


After we met up with Chirag and Jig we headed out. After a long debate, of course, as to what we were actually doing with the evening. We finally decided to start out with some MiniGolf and so we googled the nearest place and trucked ourselves over. And then learned, painfully, that we seriously suck at minigolf. I mean… damn. I think we went out of bounds at least once each, Mike launched his ball into the river, Chirag nearly launched his into the river twice (I rescued it), and I dropped mine into a small stream. And I came in almost 15 strokes over par. Jeremy came in at par though, so… screw him. After we turned in our clubs we chilled in the arcade for a bit, played a game of pool, watched Mike own at the batting cages, and Chirag and I played a quick shooter game. Relaxing times are good.


After leaving the minigolf hut, we cruised on over to the fancy steakhouse that Chirag had gotten us a reservation at. And damn this was a fancy place, definitely a solid choice by him; we ordered wine, appetizers, and relaxed while trying to decide what to eat. All of us guys made a fake effort to look at the menu, but when the waiter came over we all knew what we wanted – Prime Rib. But… nope. Denied. The waiter informed us that they didn’t have any prime left, that it had all been sold earlier in the day. We were obviously quite put out, and told him as such. We then asked for a discount on the Rib Eye, and proceeded to order some secondary items if he couldn’t get us the discount. A few minutes later the manager came up to apologize to us about not having the Prime, and to tell us that he couldn’t offer discounts on any meals. However, before we could tell him that we were leaving, he offered us something better; $10 off everyones meal, straight up. Seeing as the upgraded steaks that we had ordered were only $8 more… yeah, not arguing at all, that was pretty solid. So the night flew on, full of wine, steak, potatoes and amazingness.


After the meal was over (we left nearly an hour after the grill closed… thankfully the restaurant had a bar that stayed open late, so we weren’t inconveniencing them much) we headed into the parking lot to drive to our next destination; a Cigar Bar. Unfortunately, Tulsa is worse than even Boston, and even the cigar bars close at 23:00 on Sundays… it was 23:10 when we got into the cars. Thus… cigars = not so much. We moved on to googling up some hookah lounges, and were finally able to find one that was open after the second try. Turned out that this hookah bar was quite excellent, if a bit forboding – it was a very middle-eastern place, and we were the only white folks in the joint. But the owner was very friendly, gave us extremely good suggestions, and made some of the best Chai Tea that I’ve ever had. Thus, not arguing at all, even though there were WAY too many loud and annoying kids around.


We stayed for a bit over two hours, and then headed back to the hotel at 01:45. Dave crashed with us, and Chirag and Jigs were set to meet us at the hotel in the morning; so the four of us streched out for our last sleep in Tulsa… though we did have a bit of trouble, thanks to the tobacco and tea we had just had. I did finally crash though, memories of paintballs and steaks floating through my head.



Monday –


Urg… “not nearly enough sleep!” my body screamed at me as I tore myself from the bed. “Just another two years of sleep, and I’ll be fine!” it hollered. But no… we had a plane to catch, so I forced myself to move, shower, and pack myself up. Packing was a pretty quick task, thanks to the fact that I brought almost nothing, so I was ready to go in less than 15min, showered and all. The other guys took a bit longer to get ready… 20minutes for them. Slow pokes. But damn… I like traveling with guys, it makes packing and leaving so much quicker 🙂


Anyways, we met Chirag downstairs alone, unfortunately Jig had to work early, didn’t get any sleep, and thus couldn’t make it. Meh, we’d see her in less than two weeks,so not a big problem. We all trucked ourselves over to the airport double-time, and got there with almost an hour and a half to spare before Jeremy’s flight, which means… BREAKFAST! A quick chillout in line for a rediculously slow breakfast joint at the airport lead to a tasty bagel with cream cheese and orange juice for me, and breakfast sandwiched for the guys. The rest of the stay at the airport was quick and painless… Jeremy caught his flight home, and Mike and I headed in, relaxed, and chilled out while waiting for our flight.


The flights home were pretty status-quo, nothing really to be said for them. They worked, though our leg home was delayed pretty impressively (from leaving at 9:00 to leaving at 11:30) thanks to some storms. I read my way through the book “Sh*t my dad says”, an amazingly hilarious set of quotes from a guys extremely blunt father… I like the guy, and I can definitely see why they chose William Shatner to play him on TV. What else… nothing much, really. We talked, napped, relaxed, and generally had a good time while getting home… the flights were fairly quick (if cutting some of the connections a bit close) and the landings successful, so in the end, thats all you need to worry about, right?