Sunday, 21-April-2024


I am a sentimental creature, by nature. This is the culmination of that sentimentality.


I assign meaning to little things, overthink gestures and comments and actions, and see memories in the smallest of things. I save postcards and greeting cards – I’ve got a huge stack of them, going back 7 or 8 years, in fact. Yes, if you’ve sent me a card anytime since I’ve been in Oregon, there’s a good chance it’s flying to Ireland right now.

Some of the things I save have deep meaning. A faucet handle from when I was in a Brazilian detention center, for example, has deep meaning. Some of the things I save do not have deep meaning. A neat looking snail shell that I’ve had on my desk, for counter example.

Some things have deep meaning that needs to be left in the deep. Consigned to the past, and not carried forward into the future… regardless of how deep the meaning may be. Anchors to that which came before, that simply don’t aid in the fact that this ship is no longer anchored there, and is instead heading out to sea.

<Editor’s Note: One of Ben’s favorite quotes is from someone named John A. Shedd – “A ship at Harbor is safe… but that is not what ships are built for“. It seems appropriate to include here, thanks to his current metaphorical course>

Burning anchors is hardly advised, but in this case that’s exactly what I did. A box of Memories that shouldn’t be kept was carried with me, along with some firewood, camp chairs, and an axe, to Collins Beach out on Sauvie Island. The sand was prepared and cleared of anything flammable, a nice log cabin fire was made, and memories were shared before the physical memories were burnt. Old love letters, paintings, drawings, and other things that reminded me of a different life that I’d lived… hopes that I’d had for an alternative course that my life could have taken.

The memory sharing didn’t go quite as well as I’d hoped, but it was… almost cathartic. I learned an important lesson (that I’ll keep personal, for the time being), and had the opportunity to grow as a person… even if it wasn’t in the manner that I’d hoped for when I set this plan in motion.

It was an ending, in any case, with all the memories safely disposed of and left as buried ashes in the sand of the beach.

Link to the history of the “Ships at Harbor” quote – it’s interesting, and involves some very impressive persons!

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/12/09/safe-harbor/