Tag Archives: Escape

May4

The Process of Leaving – Part 7

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April, 2024 – Stripping Down to the Necessities


Storing, Shipping, or Selling.

Those are the “buckets”, so to say, that everything of mine is falling into.

Some things are obvious – I’m storing my car, since I can’t ship or pack it… and I don’t quite want to sell it just yet. Some things are less obvious – Climbing Shoes, for example… am I going to get to climb during my trip, or can I safely ship them? Not sure… still working on that.

Most fall pretty easily into one of the buckets, though, so thankfully it’s just become a process of making it all happen. Cleaning up the apartment, physically putting things into the storage unit, and then actually posting and selling the things that I don’t plan on keeping.

It’s… freeing, though a bit melancholy as well. I’m able to step back and look at what I really need, and then get rid of that which I don’t really need. I’m being exceptionally strict about what I put into storage – This is an opportunity for me to make a clean cut in life, an extreme version of when I moved to Oregon, and I don’t want to anchor myself to the past too heavily through this transition. Major sentimental value items are coming with me… but the vast majority of unnecessary extras as getting sold off.

In parallel with this, I’m locking in exactly what I’ll bring with me on my adventure. I did a trial run of what I’d pack, back when I went to Oklahoma, so this side is fairly simply… it just requires a bit of finesse on the final bits, along with locking down what sort of checked bag I’ll be bringing, and what exactly I’ll be putting into it.

Snacks, contact lens solution, my first aid kit… It’ll be a light and small checked bag, to be sure.

And that’s the key here, right? Strip everything down to the necessities. Don’t bring more than I need… but don’t forget to bring the things that are critical. It’s not easy, especially doing this in both the material world (what pants do I bring?) and in the emotional world (what memories do I carry into this next phase?).

Neither has an easy answer… but thankfully I’m navigating it well so far. I have friends and family helping me out, along with airlines and trains and busses and boats helping keep me honest with what I’m carrying along.

At least what I’m carrying physically. The emotional side is a different battle entirely.

Apr30

The process of Leaving – part 6

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April, 2024


Soon enough, it’ll be time to say goodbye to my life in Wilsonville. To step out that door one last time, likely never to step back through that same threshold again.

That’s my next step – now that the trip through Europe is planned, with the backups controlled and locked down, and my landing area in Ireland in process… I turn to packing my life into boxes. Boxes to be sent to storage, boxes to be sold, and boxes to be shipped across the world to help me acclimatize into my new life.

Before I do that, though, I’ve been making a point to allow myself time to feel and time to grieve.

It’s sad to think about leaving, and I’m being generous with how much time I give myself to get this done. Could I do it all in a week? Probably. Do I want to? Not in the slightest. I’ve been in this apartment for very nearly 4 years… four years of growth, recovery, memories. Happiness and sadness, connection and distance. It’s the longest I’ve been in one place since I left my childhood home, and has helped me through one of the most trying portions of my life.

I cooked meals, grew plants. Sat by the fire, laughed and cried, both alone and with company. Left for trips, always knowing that my little corner of the world would be waiting for me to return to it.

I still remember the first few weeks after I moved in… I had my couch and desk, but didn’t have much else… not even a kitchen table. When I was finally able to cook meals for just myself, with healthy ingredients that I had picked out from the local grocery… Any outside viewers may have felt sorry for me, sitting alone by my computer and eating a meal of grilled chicken and broccoli… but frankly, it was one of the most freeing times of my life.

These four years have been good, there’s no doubt about it, and I’ve accumulated quite a few pieces of memorabilia to celebrate that. I also have quite a few “anchors” – furniture that I’ve had since moving to Oregon, that’s likely been holding my subconscious back. Those things that are celebrations of happy memories, I plan on sending to Ireland… at least, as many as I can reasonably ship. The anchors, I plan to sell or donate or dispose of.

Things that fall in between those two, I plan to store. My car, for example, is too near and dear to my heart (not to mention efficient! She still runs like a dream!) and so will be going to a trusted garage for long-term stasis. Some of my books will likely follow, along with whatever knickknacks don’t quite make the weight cut to go to Ireland.


As with March – slowly but surely is the name of the game. I stay patient with myself, give my spirit the runway that it needs, and take things item by item and line by line.

Jan20

Elite: Dangerous – Or, “Ben explores the galaxy via a video game”

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General life outside of adventures – from 2019 ’till present

When I’m not out in the wood adventuring, or at the gym, or at work, or just reading by the couch… I love flying around in spaceships. Not real spaceships, of course, because that’s not a thing. Video game ones – there’s a few games I play, but the one that gives the prettiest views (and thus, the best to share on here) would be Elite Dangerous, the game that got me into spaceflight simulators.

I started playing back in 2019, when I was really in need of a universe to escape into. I’d grown up with Star Trek, so the thought of being able to take the helm of my own starship, literally flying away from earth into the unknown void, was exactly what my soul was searching for. I started with a keyboard and mouse, then got flight controllers, then a better monitor… nothing crazy, and nothing particularly expensive… but solidly servicable equipment. 

It gave me that escape that I needed – I don’t play nearly as much as I did back then, but then again I don’t need to escape quite as much anymore… instead of it being a second world I dive into, it’s more like visiting an old friend. Spending a few hours catching up every so often.

And I’m sure you’ll agree, dear readers, that it’s a rather pretty visit.